Farm Fresh!

Bar Mot

A woman sits down at the bar and says "Make mine a double."
The bartender says, "Okay, what'll it be?"
The woman says, "Entendre."
So the bartender gives it to her.

Two guys walk into a bar...
You'd think the second one would've ducked.

Men Drinking at Bar 1943
Men Drinking at Bar (1943)

A physicist walks into a bar...

He orders a beer and turns to the empty stool next to him and offers it a beer. He finishes his drink and then leaves.

The next day the physicist returns to the bar, orders a beer, and offers a beer to the empty stool next to him before finishing his drink and

This continues on for a week before the bartender finally asks, "Why do you keep offering that stool a beer?"

The physicist explains: "The laws of physics dictate that there is a slight possibility that at some point the matter above this stool could reform into a beautiful woman, who would then accept the drink."

The bartender replies: "Look, buddy, this bar is full of beautiful women. Why not see if they will accept your drink?"

The physicist laughs. "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots of tequila from the bartender.  As he downs the 10th shot, the bartender says, "I don't think you should be drinking those so fast."

As he downs the 11th, the man says, "You would if you have what I have."

"Well, what do you have?"

The man throws back the last shot and says, "Fifty cents.'

A guy is sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He's been like that for half an hour.

Now, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and chugs it all down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just messing with you... Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand seeing a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that," the man says "This day is the worst of my life. First, I was late to work and my boss fired me. When I left the building and went to my car, I found out it was stolen.

“The police said they couldn't do anything. I got a cab to return home and after it dropped me off I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards in there. The cab driver just drove away.

"I go into my home and find my wife in bed with the gardener.

"So, I left home and come to this bar.

“And just as I was getting ready to put an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed, but his wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After handing them to him, she pulls a worm from his bait box and says "I want you to see this. "

he puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. "What do you have to say now?" He responds: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies: "It seems that my whole existence is a joke."

A cowboy walks into a bar, dressed from head to toe in paper. His hat is a paper bag, his vest is paper, his chaps are paper. Pretty soon he's arrested for rustling.

A man walks into a bar and orders six shots of vodka. He lines them up in a row and downs the first glass, then the third glass and finally the fifth glass.

Then he stands up and starts to leave the bar.

“Excuse me,” says the bartender. “But you left three of the glasses of vodka untouched.”

The man replies, “I know… My doctor says it’s okay to have the odd drink.”

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Heard a good one?

Please contribute any funny stories or other humorous items regarding food, farming, rural life or shopping to this page via e-mail to... Farm Fresh!

Beer Pint Costume
Beer Pint Costume

I Love Atom Coitus Tee
I Love Atom Coitus Tee

Liquor Up Front
Liquor Up Front

Cowboy Mask
Cowboy Mask

I have discovered...
I have discovered The Fountain of Youth and it looks a lot like vodka

Free Beer Sign
Free Beer Sign

I Don't Always Drink Beer
I Don't Always Drink Beer
Coffee Keeps Me Busy 'Til It's Time to Drink
Coffee Keeps Me Busy 'Til It's Time to Drink

Man Walks into a Bar
Man Walks into a Bar

good spirits
good spirits and fine liqueurs

Orthoptera T-Shirt
Orthoptera T-Shirt 


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