Aristotle: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Barthes: The chicken wanted to expose the myth of the road.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

Epicurus: For fun.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Plato: For the greater good.

Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Socrates: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?

Thoreau: To live deliberately.

Wittgenstein: The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and “road”, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.