| This is the time of year
lists: the best of this, the best of that, the best to come, the best
I'll refrain from making any such qualitative judgments while I offer for your enlightenment the following list of books, which can stand on the merits of their titles and authors, let alone their content.
Classic Titles and Dubitable Authors
"20 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit and Betty Wont (published by Andy Didnt)
"Eating Disorders" by Anna Rexia
"Mystery in the Barnyard" by Hu Flung Dung
"I Lost My Balance" by Eileen Dover and Phil Down
"Outdoor Cookery" by Barbie Cue
"Raising Mosquitos" by I. Itch
"Cooking Spaghetti" by Al Dente
"How to Write Large Books" by Warren Peace
"Desert Crossing" by I. Rhoda Camel
"The Lion Attacked" by Claude Yarmoff
"Irish Heart Surgery" by Angie O'Plasty
Forthcoming and Greatly Anticipated
"May Flowers" by April Showers
"Causing the Greenhouse Effect" by C. O. Too
"Italian Food" by Liz Anya, Manny Kotty, Minnie Stroni and Lynn Guini
"The Tin Can Cookbook" by Billie Gote
"Stomach Cramps" by Henrietta Greenapple
"A Fish Story" by Czar Dean
"Caught in the Flood" by Noah Zark
"Little Fishes" by Anne Chovey
"Hot Dog!" by Frank Furter
"Jazz Music" by Tenna Saxe
"Cuddly Toys" by Ted E. Behr
"The Stars Tell It All" by Horace Cope
"The Great Ape Uprising" by Furious George
Bestselling Blank Books
"Everything Men Know About Women"
"A Politician’s Guide To World Peace"
"National Geographic’s Arctic Winter Landscapes"
"The Greatest Story Never Told"
"Best Short Stories Written In Invisible Ink"
"Much Ado About Nothing"
"A Book of Fill In The Blanks"
"Accidentally Clicked Delete"
"An Atheist's Plan For Life After Death"
"How To Win The Lottery"
"The CEO Manual of Ethics and Moral Standards"
"I Traded My Shirt for These Flowers"
"You've Got Blackmail"
"P.S. I Love... Your Sister"
"The Great Catsby"
"Friends with Health Benefits"
"The Dim Sum Also Rises"
"The French Lieutenant's Rations"
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Fed"
A Banana Is In My What!
Deliciously Strange Recipes for Anemia
The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America
A Guide to Field Identification
by Julian Montague
A must-have for anyone with a passion for shopping carts and a love of the great outdoors.
How To Make Home-Made Mixed Drinks
A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates
by The RAND Corporation
A product of Rand's pioneering work in computing.
How to Avoid Huge Ships
or I Never Met a Ship I Liked by Captain John W Trimmer.
Written by a veteran sea captain tired of running over fools in their pleasure boats, and wants to educate those same fools in a futile effort to save their lives.
The Book of Marmalade
Its Antecedents, Its History and Its Role in the World Today, Together With a Collection of Recipes for Marmalades and Marmalade Cookery by C. Anne Wilson.
The Semen Bartender's Handbook
The Baby Jesus
A Touch-and-Feel Book by Alan Parry. The story of the Baby Jesus for younger children with interactive features.
Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals
Adventures in Love and Danger by Wendy Dale.
Internet for Cats
by Judy Heim
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